


Doctor Who - Colepaldi RPF - A Fleeting Moment

by Colepaldi-in-the-Tardis (Samstown4077)



Series: Colepaldi Collection [43]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, One Shot, RPF, Romance, Sad, Suppressed Feelings, Unspoken, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samstown4077/pseuds/Colepaldi-in-the-Tardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One shot. What does he think? What does he see, when he suddenly stops drawing or reading and asks; "Do you ever wonder...?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doctor Who - Colepaldi RPF - A Fleeting Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this on a whim while thinking, I could write something sad. 
> 
> This is RPF, if you don't like, don't read. My native is not English, thanks for reading it anyway. Please remember this is a fictional story.

“Do you ever wonder…?” he begins, but stops mid sentence.

He is looking at the script or a doodle his hand has drawn absent minded, she can’t tell from where she sits. He is staring at it, and is seeing something else. An image, a scene perhaps, created out of ideas, thoughts, vague conclusions - mostly build up out of past happenings.

It’s not clear, not even fully coloured, just a shadow of an impalpable idea in his head. Like a moving figure, playing hide and seek.

She waits, seconds, watching him raise his head, to look into the distance. Following his view, she sees the Tardis - half behind a curtain.

Then he blinks, and a smile flashes over his face, first faint, then after a second, bigger, wider. It reveals his teeth and she knows the scene in his head plays out, goes on, further, way further.

And then the smile is gone again, numbed down by reality, invading his little film, that plays in front of his eyes. Unseen by everybody else. Like a drawing, held into the rain, it’s washed away in an instant.

The beaming in his eyes, now replaced by sadness - he has lost the idea, it’s gone. He wasn’t able to grasp it, to catch it, to hold onto it. So fleeting.

Everything is, he thinks. He knows. After 57 years, one has learned a bit from life.

He still looks up, but his sight sinks down to the floor in front of them. It’s a bitter laugh he gives the moment, biting his left thumb for a second, and then it brushes over the base of his third finger, against the metal.

“Do I ever wonder what?” she finally asks after two long minutes.

Her question brings him back, pulls him out of the shadows. With a deep breath of needed air, he turns his head toward her. The sadness is gone again, almost, it’s only a fraction of an emotion, and she can’t be sure if it’s meant for her or himself or something else.

Something that is there, but can’t be caught and most of all, it can't exist. Not now, not ever.

He blinks and is himself once more, confident, clear, happy and he gives her a short grin. Like an excuse for his stray off into another life that only exists in short seconds between takes, or when he stands by a counter ordering coffee, waiting - not that he does it very often these days. It happens in the moments in between - they are so rare, as he is so busy and he can’t tell where it comes from. Where the feelings come from, and where the scenes in his head come from.

He knows he’s not supposed to ask, to go exploring, so he doesn’t. That’s why he stops mid sentence and that’s why he smiles at her, - a blurred echo of the scene in the background she sits in front of - , “Nothing,” he looks once more back to the Tardis, a synonym. “It was nothing, Jenna.”

Then he finishes his doodle, and she believes; she knows. But she can’t be sure. One can never be, not with him, not with everything. Maybe it’s not the picture he sees that makes him sad, perhaps it’s the circumstance that everything ever is so… so fleeting.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I am in the mood for such stuff, dunno why. So many things only happen between the lines, in the heads of people and I like exploring such stuff. Thanks for reading, consider leaving a comment or kudo or a message on tumblr. I publish on regular basis.  
> Thanks!!


End file.
